Harry Potter in The Apprentice
by zeldabey
Summary: Lord Sugar is searching for his first wizarding Apprentice, with the help of his aides Nick and Karen. 16 Harry Potter characters compete for this honour. Based on the UK version of the US show starring Donald Trump.
1. Meet the Candidates

**A/N: This is based off the UK version of The Apprentice, starring Lord Sugar, and his aides Nick and Karen. It's very similar to the American version of the Apprentice, just with different people. It's hard to write something that's styled nicely for a TV programme, so I hope that the writing style I have chosen is ok. Note that this is AU, so people may be alive who shouldn't be. That misses the point though. Everyone is the age they were when they were last seen alive in the books, ignoring the Nineteen Years Later chapter (So Harry and Ron are 17, for example).**

**Italicised sections are descriptions of the scene, and are not spoken on the "TV show".**

**Please take into account the look and layout of it when reviewing please, and if there's any better way I could present this idea.**

**Narrator:**16 candidates. 1 job. It is time to for Lord Sugar to find a new Apprentice.

But this time, it's different.

Lord Sugar has enough people to liaise in the muggle world. This time, he would like to break into the wizarding world, and he has found 16 candidates for the job. The job as his apprentice, will command a salary of 100000 Galleons; even more than his normal apprentices earn. Each week, the candidates will perform business tasks in the wizarding world in teams. One team will lose, and from that team, someone will be fired. The last man standing will become Lord Sugar's wizarding Apprentice. First, let's meet the candidates.

**Harry Potter:** I don't want the money from the job, but I would like to get some experience in business. I'll give the money to Ron or something.

**Ron Weasley:** I really could use that money. See, our family…well we're not the richest, you know? I don't know that I'll win though, Harry seems to beat me at everything…

**Neville Longbottom:** I don't know, Gran told me to enter, so I did. I don't want to let her down.

**Dobby:** Dobby doesn't want to win! Dobby wants Harry Potter to win! Or if Dobby wins, Dobby will give all his money to Harry Potter. Dobby may save some for his own socks maybe…

**Lord Voldemort (at the age of his death, but undoubtedly using magic, has revived some of his more youthful appearance):** I don't want to work for this worthless muggle, but I'm going to win just to show I'm better than everyone else. I will try and kill Harry Potter, but what you can't see is that there are 20 people pointing their wands at me behind the camera, so perhaps some other time.

**Lucius Malfoy:** I did not know my Lord was entering this competition! I may not have otherwise…maybe I can help win it for him. I will be his favourite then…

**Severus Snape:** Potter is in this?_ *smirks*_ I give him 1 week…maybe 2.

**Bill Weasley:** I've started to get a bit tired of working with goblins, so I thought I'd try and give my brothers' profession a go: business.

**Hermione Granger:** I read a lot of books about business, and it is a really good way of earning money. I definitely think Lord Sugar is an inspirational person.

**Ginny Weasley:** Bill told me I ought to enter this, so I did. It sounds like fun, Fred and George are great businessmen, maybe I could do something with them eventually.

**Dolores Umbridge:** Hem hem. I would love to work for Lord Sugar. That's a lot of power and control I'd have. _*high-pitched giggle*_

**Minerva McGonagall:** After all these years teaching, I thought I'd have a try of something different. Maybe I've been giving people too much careers advice and got jealous. That woman is in it? Don't talk to me about her…

**Luna Lovegood:** _*stares into space*_ Hmm? I can't wait for these tasks. I've got some great ideas already, if what my daddy says is right. What's the chance of a task about hunting Crumple Horned Snorkacks?

**Bellatrix Lestrange:** My Lord will win! But if he doesn't, I will win it for him! There's so many ickle babies in this competition! They don't stand a chance!

**Arabella Figg:** I just about qualified under the rules. I may not be able to do magic, but I understand the world, and I have a shrewd mind. 100000 galleons will go a long way towards some cats.

**Molly Weasley:** Don't tell anyone this, but really I'm just here to look after my kids…we'll all be fine of course.


	2. Task 1: Organising the Teams

**Week 1**

_The candidates walk into the boardroom (a room with a table where Lord Sugar, Nick and Margaret sit on one side, and the candidates sit on the other) and face Lord Sugar. The candidates are appropriately robed for wizarding business, except Luna Lovegood who is wearing a rainbow dress, radish earrings and a halo._

**Lord Sugar:** Hello. _*looks at candidates*_ Well, I already have a problem. You!_ *points at Luna*_ What the hell do you think you're wearing?

**Luna Lovegood:** I'm wearing what my Daddy said. A lucky rainbow dress, and a halo designed for increased business acumen.

_Giggles around the room_

**Lord Sugar:** Well if you think you'll be lucky wearing those, then good luck to you! I don't think you'll be able to do business, but you can prove me wrong. Now, to all of you, I am Lord Sugar. You know that I hope. And I hope you also know that I take no nonsense. Now if you think you're going to go back to the house and snuggle up nicely and meet, you're wrong. Leave your bags here and they'll be moved to the house. You will be hitting the streets.

_Faces drop around the room at the thought of doing business straight away_

**Lord Sugar:** There are two big wizarding shopping centres here in Britain. You'll know that. Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. Today, you can go to either. The school term starts soon, and people will be wanting quills. Your job is to design a set of quill, ink and parchment with some special characteristic. That's where your creative powers will come in. Then, this afternoon, you will start selling these at your place of choice. At 7 o'clock, I will see you back here, and the team who sells the least will lose, and from that team, one of you will be fired. Now chop chop, it's 9, you only have 10 hours.

_The candidates leave the boardroom quickly._

**Narrator:** The candidates have been split into teams: boys and girls. Each team must now select a project leader. Lord Sugar's aides, Nick and Karen will be keeping an eagle eye on the teams. Karen will be with the boys, and Nick with the girls.

_The boys are sitting around a table in a generic room, with Karen sitting a small distance away._

**Bill:** I'd like to put myself forward for project manager. I think I could do a good job managing everybody.

**Voldemort:** Silence boy! I'll choose who the project manager is…I pick…Lucius!

**Lucius:** My Lord? Wouldn't you…?

**Voldemort:**_ *laughs*_ I'd like to hide my hand for now Lucius.

**Bill:** Well I think we should take a vote.

**Voldemort:** Shut up!

**Dobby:** Dobby thinks Harry Potter should be project manager.

**Harry:** Dobby, no! I don't want to do that. I think that Bill should be project manager _*gives an evil glare to Voldemort*_

**Voldemort:** Potter, give up. I have decided that Lucius should be the project manager, and so he shall be.

**Snape:** My Lord. Maybe we should have a vote on project manager as the Weasley boy says. With a clause. A tie in the vote would mean Lucius is project manager.

**Voldemort:** Severus you fool. Count the people, see the result!

**Snape:** Trust me on this one my Lord.

**Voldemort:** …if this doesn't work Severus…

**Bill:** _*counts people who would support him around the table and smiles*_ Yes, I can agree to that.

**Snape:** Excellent. All in favour of the Weasley boy as project manager, raise your hand.

_Harry, Ron, Dobby and Bill raise their hands. Snape gives Neville a very hard stare, and Neville gulps and doesn't raise his hand._

**Snape:** And all in favour of Lucius?

_Snape and Voldemort raise their hand immediately. Lucius tentatively raises his hand. After about 10 seconds of Snape staring at him, Neville raises his hand as well, and the people who voted for Bill sigh, with Ron visibly annoyed and shaking his head._

**Voldemort:** Well that's settled then isn't it. Well done Lucius!

**Karen (solitary interview):** So the boys have just voted on project manager, but that whole process looked rigged to work in Lord Voldemort's favour. There already seems to be tensions and politics in this team, and Lord Sugar will not appreciate that.

**Narrator:** Maybe the girls' team will have a fairer vote.

_The girls are sitting around a table in a generic room exactly like the boys._

**Hermione:** I'd like to be project manager for this first task.

_Bellatrix bursts out laughing._

**Bellatrix:** You think that we'd let you lead a task? A little kiddie? You're obviously not here to win mudblood. I am.

**Umbridge:** Perhaps I could offer myself as an alternative?

_Loud dissent from around the table, particularly from McGonagall, Hermione and Ginny._

**McGonagall:** Look, perhaps I can be a palatable choice for us all? *she looks around the table sternly* Yes? Good. And now we can move onto the team name.

**Nick (solitary interview):** The way that Hermione and Dolores' volunteers for leadership were shot down was not good. This girls team looks woefully inadequate at the moment.

**Narrator:** Each team must now choose a name before then designing the quill, ink and parchment that they need to sell.

_Still at the girls' table._

**Arabella:** So I was thinking a name with cat in somehow? Cats are very shrewd.

**Bellatrix:** Shut up you filthy squib, you don't deserve to sit in our presence. Team Dark Lord perhaps?

**Luna:** I was thinking perhaps Wisdom as our team's name?

_Silence around the table_

**Arabella:** Cats are quite wise as well.

_Further silence, more awkward this time_

**McGonagall:** No objections to that then? Team Wisdom it is then.

_And at the boys' table._

**Lucius:** As project manager, I have decided our name will be Pure-blood.

**Harry:** No it won't.

**Lucius:** Well what are you going to do about it Potter? Are you the project manager?

**Snape:** Perhaps team half-wit would be more precise, being as that's what half of us are.

**Bill:** Maybe we can all agree on something a bit more generic, like Victory?

**Lucius:** …Fine…Victory it is. Now, any ideas about this quill and ink and stuff?

**Neville:** _*sounding fearful*_ Perhaps…perhaps a spell-checking one or something?

**Snape:** Idiot. That has already been done. According to the rules, we have to sell for a galleon. That's high end. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes offer that exact thing for a matter of sickles, if you bothered to look. Now, what we're after here is a bundle of ink, quill and parchment all with some purpose in mind. Might I suggest a potions package? Longbottom, this would've helped you immensely. We simply make the quill, ink and parchment potions resistant. They won't smudge, erode, dissolve etcetera. My Lord, you could jinx the items to perform in such a way.

**Voldemort:** That's an excellent idea Severus! A winning idea! Let's get to it!

_Bill and Ron both sit nodding thoughtfully. Harry simply glares at Snape with intense dislike_

**Ron:** That is actually an idea. I reckon there will be a few kids who'd sign up to that.

**Snape:** Yes, I knew you'd appreciate Weasley. Then again, if your work hadn't been smudged and smeared by potions, I'd have probably have given you a lower mark for some of your work than I did, so don't go investing too soon.

**Karen (solitary interview):** So Team Victory have come up with this idea with potions resistant things, and you know what? I think it's a great idea. This could sell. For a galleon it is extortionate, but there are people with the money and kids who are spilling potions on their work everywhere.

**Narrator:** And back with Wisdom

**Luna:** I think a quill like this halo, that increases business acumen, is a great idea. Daddy told me how to do it, so I could.

**McGonagall:** Miss Lovegood. Is that halo proven to increase business acumen?

**Luna:** Yes, yes it is!

**McGonagall:** Well that remains to be seen…any other ideas?

_Silence around the table_

**Molly:** Ginny, why don't you speak up dear?

**Ginny:** Mum!

_Bellatrix, Dolores and Hermione all smirk at this exchange._

**McGonagall:** Well perhaps I can put forth my idea? When I set homework, I often set a specific length of parchment to be completed. Perhaps parchment with measurements down the side could work, to make it easier for the students?

**Hermione:** I'm sorry Professor, but –

**Bellatrix:** - Shut up girl!

**McGonagall:** No, no, please do speak Miss Granger.

**Hermione:** Well it's just that a galleon is quite a lot for something like that.

**McGonagall:** I think it's a fine idea and people will pay anything for a fine idea. I thank you for your contribution though Miss Granger.

**Hermione:** But Professor, don't you realise that we're selling a combination of ink, quill and parchment, and really that's only parchment we're selling there?

**McGonagall:** Well the ink and the quill make it worth the galleon then Miss Granger. Again, thank you for your input, but I think it's a good enough idea myself.

**Bellatrix:** Do you have any useful ideas to put in yourself mudblood? Or are you just going to be negative so you can pin it on everyone else in the boardroom?

**Hermione:** I just think we could come up with something better!

**Bellatrix:** THEN DO IT!

**Molly:** Hermione dear, I really don't think we can come up with anything better. We need to prepare this parchment now and sell.

**Hermione:** _*sulkily*_ Fine.

**Hermione (solitary interview):** This is a stupid idea. I don't really know why McGonagall is trying to force this through, I think she's missing it. Ginny is contributing nothing. I know she agrees with me, I wish she would have been more vocal. We're pretty much doomed to losing this task now, and I'm going to prepare my speech for the boardroom.

**Bellatrix (solitary interview):** The mudblood's having a tantrum. It's probably because she can't sell. Who would buy stock off a mudblood really?


	3. Task 1: Diagon Alley

**Narrator:** Both teams have prepared their stock, and have decided that Diagon Alley is the optimum place to sell things in the pre-Hogwarts season. They have set up a stand at opposite ends of Diagon Alley, and have not yet noticed each other's presence. The boys have split into two, with Harry, Ron, Neville, Dobby and Bill manning the stand and Voldemort, Lucius and Snape wandering and selling.

_At the stand with the boys_

**Bill:** I'm a bit annoyed at how Lucius has split us. We're getting a bit cliquey…I was hoping we'd avoid that?

**Ron:** Suits me. The less I see of them, the happier I'll be.

**Bill:** But Ron, that isn't the point. We need to work together despite personal differences.

**Ron:** I have bigger issues with You-know-who than just personal differences.

**Bill:** You're just making excuses. Now look at Dobby, he is trying to sell.

_The team stare at Dobby approaching various wizards. No one offers him a glance._

**Bill:** That's what we should be doing. Apart from we should actually be getting their attentions.

**Ron:** Well go on then Bill, get on with it.

**Bill:** We should all be doing it!

**Ron:** Harry and I will stay here, make sure people are served here.

**Bill:** If you're going to be lazy, then so be it. Come on Neville!

_Bill strides off and Neville follows timidly._

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, Lucius, Voldemort and Snape are walking around in Knockturn Alley, unbeknownst to the rest of their team.

**Lucius:** I sold a couple to old Borgin.

**Voldemort:** Just two? I could get him to buy more?

**Lucius:** My Lord, I've read the rules. Threats aren't allowed.

**Voldemort:** I can be subtle about it.

**Lucius:** They'll know. I think we can win this legit my Lord.

**Voldemort:** That's not my way of playing. The girls have got Bellatrix. You think she'll be legit?

**Snape:** Hopefully not, then they'll lose by default.

**Voldemort:** …I suppose. Ok, I'll play to the rulebook for today.

_Voldemort strides off quickly to an old couple and comes back with 3 galleons._

**Lucius:** My Lord? How did you do that so easily?

**Voldemort:** I've picked up a few tricks in my life Lucius. I know how to charm the oldies.

**Karen (solitary interview):** These 3 are all selling nicely, particularly Voldemort who really knows how to charm people. However, they're in the wrong place. The target market here is kids, and you will not find kids in Knockturn Alley. I rather think they're staying in their comfort zone here. They even lied to their team saying they were going around Diagon Alley. They know what they're doing Is wrong and yet they're still doing it.

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, at the girls' stand, there's a large crowd. Sadly, none of them are customers.

**Nick (solitary interview):** 8 girls running a tiny stand like this? It's chaotic. They've sold only a few. Hermione's got the right idea, she's picking out people who look rich. That's got to be the target for their product. But she and the rest of them need to spread their wings, because they're getting way too much in each other's faces and it's arguments galore.

_The girls are cramped in a corner by a stand with quills on it. Hermione drags Ginny to the side for a quiet chat._

**Hermione:** This is stupid. We've only sold a few. You realise that the product Is to blame for this. It was a stupid idea from the beginning.

**Ginny:** I understand, but stop moaning about it now Hermione. The product is the product and there's nothing we can do about it now.

**Hermione:** Well if you'd have taken my side earlier. I know you agree with me, it's a terrible idea.

**Ginny:** Look Hermione, I –

**Hermione:** - You were just overwhelmed by our company Ginny. You should've ignored Bellatrix, ignored your mother. You should have said it as it is. Then maybe people would've listened.

**Ginny:** …You're not making this easy.

**Hermione:** It's not meant to be easy. It's a fight, but I know you're a fighter! So next week, stand up a bit stronger.

**Ginny:** That's if I'm here next week _*looks glum*_

**Ginny (solitary interview):** So Hermione's just dragged me aside and made me feel terrible about myself. She's getting way too involved in this. She needs to calm down. It's lucky she isn't project manager, because she's not managing me very well at the moment. However it has to be said that behind the whinging, she makes a reasonable point. We have a stupid product. I wish I had said something earlier, but that's the past now and we should at least try and sell it.

_Meanwhile, McGonagall speaks to the other 5 women._

**McGonagall:** We need to go around Diagon Alley a bit more, because we're not getting enough custom over here. Take some quills and just go for a wander.

**Dolores:** You know Minerva, this is a mess. We've been here for hours and done nothing.

**McGonagall:** Well maybe you should've taken some initiative then Dolores.

**Dolores:** Maybe I will! _*she picks up some quill, ink and parchment sets and wanders off*_

**Bellatrix:** Haha! Keeping personal relationships out of this yes Minerva! You know, I bet my Lord has sold more than all of us put together so far.

**McGonagall:** Well then maybe you should do something about that!

**Bellatrix:** What if I don't want to? It's clear you're getting fired anyway when we lose. Although personally, I'll be holding up for a firing of the mudblood. Would you do that for me Minerva? *laughs shrilly, but then picks up merchandise and wanders off*

**McGonagall to Molly and Arabella:** Well at least Luna has taken the prerogative to try and sell _*points at Luna talking to some people*_

**Narrator:** However, Luna was not finding it easy to sell at all

_Luna talking to old lady_

**Luna:** Would you like to buy a measured parchment set?

**Old Lady:** _*gawps at Luna's clothing*_ I'm sorry, I'm…you know.

_Now Luna's trying to sell to an 11 year old boy._

**Luna:** This will really help with your homework you know.

**Boy:** Sorry but my mum won't let me talk to weirdos. _*runs off*_

**Nick (solitary interview):** Luna is doing her utmost to sell, but she's handicapped by her ridiculous outfit. That rainbow dress does not say business to me, and the halo is ridiculous. If the thing gave her business acumen then she would take it off. But without going down that paradoxical route, she really needs to sharpen up and simply change.

**Narrator:** 4 o'clock. Harry and Ron are still standing comfortably by their stand having not moved all day.

**Ron:** I'm getting a bit bored standing here now.

**Harry:** Yeah, maybe we should go and look for some custom. We'll just keep an eye on the stand.

**Ron:** Nah…I wouldn't want to do that. Too much, you know? It's not far from 7, we can just…wait…is that my mum coming over here? We can't have her spying?

_Molly Weasley strides over_

**Ron:** Oi mum! No spying!

**Molly:** Spying? Oh no dear, I just wanted to say hello. I just sold my first of the day you know. What's this?

**Ron:** Stop looking!

**Molly:** Potion resistant quill, parchment and ink? That is very, very clever. Did you come up with that Ronald? You know, I need one of these myself.

**Ron:** …Really? Well it's a galleon.

**Molly:** Oh dear, couldn't you cut the price for your mother?

**Ron:** No! We're in a competition mum.

**Molly:** Well look dear, I just made this galleon form selling myself so I'll just use it!_ *gives galleon to Ron and takes set*_

**Ron:** Thanks mum!

_In the background, Karen puts her head in her hands in disbelief._

**Molly:** See you!

**Karen (solitary interview):** Well what a way for Ron to get his first sale of the day. I can't quite believe that that just happened. I have to say, apart from the group in Knockturn Alley, Victory have been woefully ineffective. Bill has done a good job, but Harry and Ron have been lazing around and Dobby and Neville just don't seem to be good salespeople. This is a bit of a waste of a good idea.

**Bill (solitary interview)**: I'd love to know why all of our team are doing nothing. Where's Lucius, Severus, You-know-who? I've been around all of Diagon Alley and not bumped into them once. It's getting a bit out of hand, and I would be surprised if we won being as from what I've seen, I'm the only one who's sold anything.

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, with one hour to go, Arabella finally gets some success.

_Arabella talking to a kid_

**Kid:** Mummy says I can have 5. She says I'll have enough essays to use them.

**Arabella:** Yes dear! That would be great. Was it my cat photos that persuaded her?

**Kid:** My mum does love cats.

**Arabella:** Well maybe me and your mum should meet for a coffee sometime.

_The money and merchandise is exchanged_

**Arabella:** Wooo!

**Nick (solitary interview):** Arabella is getting excited about a sale of 5. Minerva, Bellatrix, Hermione and even Dolores have all dwarfed those sale figures. To be honest, I think we've seen a development of the useless 4 today in the girls team. Ginny, Luna, Molly and Arabella all need to seriously raise their game.

**Narrator:** In the closing stages, everyone is rushing around trying to get some last minute sales.

_A montage displays of Minerva, Bill, Voldemort, Snape, Hermione and Ginny all completing sales._

**Narrator:** Lucius' subteam have returned to Diagon Alley and are already seeing an increase to their sales.

_Lucius and Severus are walking through Diagon Alley._

**Lucius:** We should've come here earlier maybe.

_Voldemort returns brandishing 5 more galleons._

**Snape:** I think we knew that didn't we. But would we have had as much fun here as in Knockturn Alley?

**Voldemort:** No! Of course not! Those useless guys must've racked up the sales back here anyway. It's too easy!

**Snape:** You would think that my Lord, but I assure you that Neville Longbottom can make much simpler things look impossible.

_Bill runs over to join them_

**Bill:** Where have you been?

**Voldemort:** About.

**Bill:** No you haven't, I haven't seen any of you anywhere today.

**Voldemort:** Well you haven't been looking hard enough.

**Bill:** …Fine…it's been a disaster back here. Neville, Dobby and Harry have sold zilch from what I've heard. Ron has sold one.

_Snape, Voldemort and Lucius share some laughter_

**Lucius:** If we lose because of it Weasley, well, I unofficially but you in charge of this subteam, so on your head be it.

**Narrator:** Time's up. The teams must now back up and apparate to the boardroom.

_Bellatrix and McGonagall share a conversation as they pack up the stand with their wands._

**Bellatrix:** So Minerva, how are you going to weasel yourself out of being fired?

**McGonagall:** Who says we've lost? I sold quite a few.

**Bellatrix:** Well so did I. If my talents saved us then you're lucky for now. If not, like I say, go for Granger and I won't go for you.

**McGonagall:** I'll do what is right, thank you very much. You probably intimidated your way to your sales anyway.

**Bellatrix:** Maybe I did.

**McGonagall:** Well that's against the rules, they won't count.

**Bellatrix:** The rules say no threats. I didn't threat. I just…convinced them.

**McGonagall:** Let's just get to the boardroom.

_Ginny and Hermione are also talking a short distance away_

**Ginny:** I sold a few since you talked to me Hermione.

**Hermione:** But Ginny, we've lost the task.

**Ginny:** Don't be so negative. I've sold 10 today!

**Hermione:** I've sold about 30 or 40. I don't think it will be enough.

**Ginny:** I wish you'd stop being so whiney Hermione. It's not becoming of you.

**Hermione:** Well if we'd have had a better idea to begin with…

**Ginny:** Just drop it Hermione! Christ, I can't wait to get away from all these angry women!

_Hermione gives Ginny a hard stare._


	4. Task 1: The Boardroom

**Narrator:** The boardroom. Time to face Lord Sugar and find out who won, and who's going to get fired.

_The candidates enter the boardroom and sit down in their two teams, again, sitting across from Lord Sugar, Nick and Karen._

**Lord Sugar:** Well well. An eventful day in Diagon Alley I hear. Not so much in Hogsmeade. You both decided that Diagon Alley was the place to be, and I agree. During the school year, Hogsmeade is better, especially when the students are let loose, but everyone goes to Diagon Alley for their school supplies. However, where they don't go is Knockturn Alley. Isn't that right boys?

_Lord Sugar looks towards Lucius, Voldemort and Severus who are all sitting together. Bill glances over at them, looking annoyed._

**Lord Sugar:** Well, Team Victory was it? Your project manager was Lucius. What did you think of him?

**Bill:** Not good at all. He didn't even volunteer for it, he was volunteered by You-Know-Who. Then he just left with his subteam of friends and gallivanted off to Knockturn Alley without telling us. Even when I asked them after they did not tell me they went there. That makes no sense at all, you won't find kids in Knockturn Alley.

**Lord Sugar:** No, you won't.

**Karen:** From what I saw, you 3 just wanted to enjoy a little day trip there.

**Lord Sugar:** Really? Well that's not exactly how to do good business.

**Karen:** In fairness, the business they did do there was shockingly good. Voldemort in particular can sell, but these two aren't mugs either. Lucius probably sold better in Knockturn Alley than he could in Diagon Alley quite frankly…

**Lord Sugar:** Fascinating. But that hardly showed me the best of your talents. You realise Voldemort, that you accounted for over half of the total team's sales.

_Voldemort smirks._

**Lord Sugar:** Now, your idea of a special quill, ink and parchment package was to have a potion resistant set right?

**Lucius:** Yes, Lord Sugar.

**Lord Sugar:**_ *nods*_ You know what? That's a really good idea. Whose was it?

**Snape:** Mine, Lord Sugar.

**Lord Sugar:** Of course, the Potions professor. And the team were in agreement?

**Ron:** I thought it was a great idea. Wish I'd have had it myself.

**Lord Sugar:** Well I'm pleased you guys know a good idea when you see one. Well done for that. However, looking at your sales figures, it's stupidly uneven. Between Ron, Harry, Dobby and Neville, you sold 1 unit from what it says here. Is this true?

_Silence_

**Lord Sugar:** 1 bloody unit? Are you having me on?

**Karen:** It gets worse Lord Sugar.

**Lord Sugar:** Worse? How can it possibly get worse than that?

**Karen:** Well aside from the fact that Ron and Harry seemed to be making no effort at all to sell anything, the one sale that Ron did procure was from someone sitting in this room.

**Lord Sugar:** Nick, you haven't any need for a potions resistant quill have you?

**Nick:** _*smirking*_ No

**Lord Sugar:** That's what I thought. Then who the hell is it?

**Karen:** Molly Weasley used the money from her only sale of the day to buy one.

_Bellatrix laughs loudly_

**Lord Sugar:** Molly…What! You think you can just use my money to buy your own personal things? You've cost your team 2 galleons there essentially, wasting one of their profits and giving the other team one as well.

_Molly blushes as everyone else stares at her and smirks_

**Lord Sugar:** So come on then Molly? Do you have a brain? Because you sure didn't act like it.

**Molly:** I just…well…I just wanted…you know.

**Lord Sugar:** Well I'll let you keep your bloody quill, even though you defrauded me for it. It's your team that will suffer from your traitorous actions. Now, Team Wisdom. Your team leader was Minerva here right?

**McGonagall:** Yes.

**Lord Sugar:** Good team leader?

**Bellatrix:** Well I'd hardly call her a good project manager, but considering the mudblood put herself up for it, it was at least better than that.

**Lord Sugar:** Who's "the mudblood"?

**Bellatrix:** Granger.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. But I hear Dolores volunteered as well?

**Nick:** Oh yes, but she was shot down immediately by a few of the team. I think there's a personal issue there.

**Lord Sugar:** Well guys, if there is a personal issue, keep it out of business thank you. I'll let you off this once, but don't select project managers based on personal problems. That applies to you as well Bellatrix, rejecting Hermione as you did.

**Hermione:** Lord Sugar, I don't think we were project managed that effectively.

_The whole team glares at her._

**Hermione:** Well I'm sorry Professor, but as I expressed, I think the idea was terrible.

**Nick:** You know Hermione, if you'd have spent less of the day whinging about that and more of it selling, who knows how many sales you could've had.

**Hermione:** But I was frustrated that my voice wasn't being heard. There were certain people who weren't speaking up at all either.

**Lord Sugar:** Like who.

**Hermione:**_ *hesistates*_ Well Ginny admitted to me she thought the idea was bad as well, but she never spoke up at the time.

**Ginny:** You know, that's really unfair. I couldn't think of a better idea and I felt that Hermione was being much too negative about it and should've come up with something herself if she was going to be so critical.

**Nick:** A bad idea is a bad idea, and you could have at least mentioned what you thought at the start, rather than not saying anything.

**Lord Sugar:** What was the idea anyway?

**McGonagall:** Parchment with measurements on it, to help with Hogwarts essays. It was my idea, and no one came up with an alternative.

**Luna:** Actually, I –

**McGonagall:** - A reasonable alternative I meant of course.

**Lord Sugar:** I see. I thought the teachers would be most productive with the ideas. But did you even begin to get the idea of the task. What was the point of the quill and ink that went with this? And a galleon for this? Seriously? Hermione was right about this being a bad idea I'm afraid Minerva.

**Nick:** However, there was some great selling from this team. Bellatrix and Minerva, using their completely different styles, did a nice job of selling what was a bad product. Bellatrix was a bit in your face about it, but within the rules.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. So the salesmanship was probably better from the girls today.

**Nick:** Well, excepting Luna and Molly, who were complete disasters.

**Lord Sugar:** Ok…well enough chitter chatter anyway. Let's cut to the chase. Nick, how many did Wisdom sell?

**Nick:** Wisdom sold a total of 143 units. A nice effort I thought.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. And Victory, Karen?

**Karen:** Well it just shows what a great idea does for you. 358 units. Voldemort sold an unbelievable 190. 80 of those were in the last 30 minutes, when they left Knockturn Alley.

_Fist pumping from the boys side, with Voldemort looking particularly smug._

**Lord Sugar:** Well guys, an easy victory for you today it would seem. Your treat is to go back to the house you'll be staying in during your time here, and enjoy a live performance by the Weird Sisters. Be warned though, I don't think some of you necessarily deserve this treat, and you know who you are. Dismissed.

_The boys exit the room, celebrating, though distinctly in their 2 groups. In the boardroom the girls look depressed._

**Lord Sugar:** Wisdom, you lost. You were a total mess and you did well to sell as many as you did. Now leave here for a bit and consider what happened on this task, because when you come back, one of you is getting fired.

_The girls get up and leave dejectedly._

_Back at the house, the boys are sitting with loud music in the background. Lucius, Snape and Voldemort are absent._

**Ron:** _*sipping firewhiskey*_ This is a great treat. We need to win more often!

**Bill:** Well maybe that will motivate you to actually try this time? You know, you and Harry were lucky today.

**Dobby:** Don't say such things about Harry Potter. He put on a winner's performance today!

**Bill:** I'm sorry Dobby, but he didn't. I understand you didn't sell as well, but at least you tried Dobby, at least you tried. And I wish the other 3 would stop separating themselves so much. It's really not the right way to be in business.

**Neville (solitary interview):** I know I didn't perform like I should've today but I tried. Ron and Harry stood around doing nothing…Gran, if you're watching, I'll do better next time, I promise!

_In a grotty café, the girls are sitting around a table looking depressed, except Bellatrix who looks amused._

**Hermione:** The failure of this task was the product. They had a great one, we had a terrible one. We were done from the first second.

**McGonagall:** I understand your point. You were a bit wearing today you know Hermione.

**McGonagall (solitary interview):** I understand that the idea maybe just wasn't what the task called for, but I didn't hear anyone else come up with anything. And we had people like Arabella, Ginny and Molly who were doing nothing for long periods of the day.

**Umbridge:** You know Minerva, you were a bit of a mess. What were we doing for all those hours at the start of selling at Diagon Alley? Lord Sugar said we sold well, but without that we could've sold better.

**McGonagall:** Now don't you dare Dolores. I told people to get selling, for some reason you decided that meant standing around doing nothing. It was me who convinced you and Bellatrix to finally get moving.

**Luna (solitary interview):** I'm disappointed with how I did in this task. I'm not really sure what I did wrong. I'll have to phone daddy about the halo. I really tried my best and I hope I at least get another go, because it was really fun. It was funny watching Hermione and Ginny wind each other up all day.

**Narrator:** And back at the boardroom…

_The girls enter the boardroom again and sit with McGonagall in the middle._

**Lord Sugar:** So ladies. Who would like to start?

_Hermione puts her hand up excitedly, causing Ginny to giggle_

**Lord Sugar:** Thought you might be enthusiastic. Go on then.

**Hermione:** Well I think the failure of the task was in the product, which I'm afraid was Professor McGonagall's idea. But Bellatrix shot me down when I tried to critique it.

**Lord Sugar:** You know Bellatrix, I'm starting to get the impression that you have something seriously personal against Hermione. I can't have that in my business.

**Bellatrix:** Well maybe you got that impression, but she rubs everyone up the wrong way. I swear she spent most of the day having whispered arguments with the Weasley girl over there.

**Nick:** She's right. There was definitely a bit of tension between them.

**Hermione:** Well she should have stood up for me!

**Ginny:** It was too late to change it at that point. You should've just got on with it.

**Lord Sugar:** What was done was done with the product Hermione. You have to get behind it once it's done. I'm not sure you did that to be honest. However, Ginny, you should've certainly argued against the product at the time. And Bellatrix, you should not have shot down Hermione on personal grounds. You've all made critical mistakes.

**Bellatrix:** Now if I may, I believe my sales book was larger than anyone elses?

**Lord Sugar:** No no, you were second behind Minerva here actually. But speaking of sales, there are 2 people I'd like to single out. Molly, you sold 1 item, which you then went to cancel, meaning you sold a net of none. And Luna, you really did just sell bugger all.

**Molly:** I was helping organise the team and other behind the scenes jobs.

**Bellatrix:** No you weren't! You were doing nothing!

**Molly:** Well…no…I was doing things. Making sure Ginny was selling well and things, you know.

**Nick:** You did treat it as more of a mothering contest than anything else. You tried to get Ginny to contribute in the conversations at the start of the day, but didn't contribute yourself. That really isn't how this works.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm…and how about you then Lovegood. How did that costume work for you?

**Luna:** Well I tried my best to sell and…

**Lord Sugar:** I'm sorry, but if someone approached me looking like that I wouldn't have bought anything off them. I wouldn't have bought a bloody Firebolt for a knut off you.

**Luna:** So you think I should dress like everyone else?

**Lord Sugar:** Yes! I told you that straight away, but you thought you knew better.

**Luna:** But Lord Sugar, isn't it better to stand out.

**Lord Sugar:** No! It's a good idea to look professional. You looked like someone straight out of Azkaban with a triple confundus curse on you.

**Nick:** It was very hard to know if you can't sell, or if people were just alienated by what you were wearing. I really can't gauge your sales ability yet.

**Luna:** I'm sorry. I tried…

**Lord Sugar:** Oi, Arabella. You've been awfully quiet there. Is it just say nothing and stay out of trouble?

**Arabella:** No, not at all, I did very well today.

**Nick:** You sold 5 units, all to the same person. You were lucky their mum liked cats, because if I'd have been shown a photo album of cats when trying to buy some parchment, it would've concerned me as to the sanity of the person who made the product.

**Lord Sugar:** Yeah, it didn't sound like you did well to me Arabella. Just sat tight and kept quiet. That won't do for me I'm afraid. Now, I think we've dissected this performance enough, and it's time for Minerva to make the crucial decision. Who are you bringing back into the final boardroom?

**McGonagall:** Well, although there are a number of people I could bring in, I think I'd like to bring in Luna, for selling nothing, and Molly, for doing nothing and for even sabotaging our efforts.

**Lord Sugar:** _*nods grimly*_ I see. Well, Arabella, Ginny, you two in particular have got off for today. I need to see a bigger effort from you next week please. Now back to the house you lot.

_Bellatrix, Dolores, Hermione, Ginny and Arabella leave the room._

**Lord Sugar:** Right you three, if you'd just sit in the waiting room outside, and I'll call you back in when I'm ready. One of you will be fired.

_The three leave the room and sit in the room outside. McGonagall directs a quiet sorry to Molly. In the boardroom, Lord Sugar, Karen and Nick have a conversation._

**Lord Sugar:** This task was lost on the idea, which was from Minerva. However, her basic management skills seemed ok and her sales were great.

**Nick:** I was surprised at how well she was able to push her product, especially at that price.

**Karen:** Luna seems pretty dotty and out there.

**Nick:** Yes, she's a bizarre one. She completely compromised herself today, but she still doesn't get it. A liability if I ever saw one.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm…and as for Molly, buying the competitor's product with my profits was insane.

**Karen:** I couldn't believe what I was seeing quite frankly.

**Nick:** I'm not sure if she's in it to win it either, of if she's in it to see Ginny win it.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm…well, I think I'm ready to hear what they have to say about things. Without Hermione and Bellatrix muddying things up now, maybe this can be done on my terms.

_Karen and Nick laugh. The three girls enter the boardroom and sit down, with McGonagall again in the middle._

**Lord Sugar:** So Minerva. We've agreed that this task was lost because of the product. That was your idea. So you're the person to fire right?

**McGonagall:** I wouldn't say that Lord Sugar. I put the only sane idea on the table. With a personality like Bellatrix's, I admit, I was a bit unaware of Hermione's criticisms which were probably true and fair.

**Lord Sugar:** You missed the point of the task! You were selling these things as a set, but only the parchment was relevant at all.

**Nick:** And yes, Hermione pointed that out straight away and you dismissed it by saying the other things would make it value for the galleon.

**McGonagall:** That was a bit rash unfortunately. But I did sell the best on our team.

**Lord Sugar:** Yes, yes, that's true. I'm sure you noted that Voldemort outsold your whole team however.

_McGonagall nods_

**Lord Sugar:** Now Luna, you were a disaster today. Did you do anything right?

**Luna:** I tried and tried to sell from beginning to end. And I came up with the team name!

**Lord Sugar:** Right…but nothing of material value then.

**Luna:** I think I boosted the team's morale.

**Karen:** Forgive me, but if you boosted the morale, then you only did it because everyone was busy laughing at your clothes.

**Luna:** I understand that I wasn't wearing the right things, but Daddy told me this halo –

**Lord Sugar:** Then maybe your Dad should have made it a business acumen ring rather than a halo. You know, something more innocuous. So who do you think should be fired Luna?

**Luna:** I'm sorry, but I think Molly, because I didn't see her do much of anything, other than buy the other team's product.

**Molly:** That was a little mistake I made Lord Sugar. I didn't realise how bad it was.

**Lord Sugar:** Well maybe you ought to have. It's not necessarily that it lost your team the task, but it was a very naïve thing to do. Now my colleagues have made certain allegations against you Molly. They say you're here to escort Ginny to victory, rather than win yourself.

**Molly:** No, that's not right at all! I want to win!

**Lord Sugar:** I hope it isn't right, because you didn't do a very good job if it was. Ginny didn't exactly play a blinder in this task either. But you clearly should focus on yourself more than your daughter.

**Molly:** Look, it's just natural. I'm her mother, I had to look after her!

**Lord Sugar:** Precisely, just like you had to look after Ron and give him a sale earlier. You really were sabotaging your team and yourself from within and it wasn't pretty to watch today. Now why shouldn't I fire you?

**Molly:** Because I did a decent job today, I sold more than Luna and –

**Nick:** Luna at least tried to contribute during the morning's talks. You merely tried to get your daughter to talk.

**Molly:** But I do have a bit of business sense, I dress appropriately yes?

**Lord Sugar:** Well yes, but that's rather the basics. Right, I think I've heard enough from you three, no more talking plese. Minerva, you came up with the terrible idea that lost the task today. However, you did sell the most and that does carry some weight. Luna, you came up with the team name, yes, but you're completely naïve it would seem. I'm sorry, but you just weren't dressed appropriately for business today, and that's final. Molly, you seem more concerned about helping your children than helping yourself. You sabotaged your team, and you did very little for the team effort.

Overall...Luna…it's hard to justify keeping you after you showed very little today. However, Molly, I don't think you're in this to win it, whereas I believe that Luna is, and so it is for that reason that I have to say that Molly, *points at Molly* you're fired!

_Molly nods._

**Molly:** Thank you, Lord Sugar. I hope one of my children wins!

_Molly walks out and sits in the waiting room outside._

**Lord Sugar:** Luna, I've got you this.

_Lord Sugar reaches down, grabs a carrier bag and pushes it across to Luna._

**Lord Sugar:** From Madam Malkim's. I'd wear those if I were you next time, assuming they're the right size. Don't wear those earrings either. No excuses if you're back here next time. Don't expect to leave this boardroom again still in the process if this happens again. Do you understand?

**Luna:** Yes, thank you Lord Sugar.

**Lord Sugar:** You're still here because I can see you're a trier, and I'm going to give you one more try. Now, back to the house you two, and I'll see you next week.

_Luna and McGonagall walk out of the room._

**Lord Sugar:** You two must think I'm crazy for keeping her.

**Nick:** I think you'd have been crazy to keep Molly. She didn't want to be your Apprentice, and so she didn't need to stay in the process.

**Karen:** I'll be interested to see Luna next week.

_In the waiting room, Luna and McGonagall both hug Molly and then leave. Molly then leaves with her suitcase and says a quick word to the camera._

**Molly:** Ok, so Lord Sugar saw through me there. I tried my best, but it wasn't really for me. Bill to win!

**Narrator:** Back at the house, everyone is waiting in the lounge.

**Hermione:** I think Luna's probably gone. She was a bit weak today.

**Ron:** I can't believe she was out in public dressed like that…well actually, I can, but yeah.

**Ginny:** I hope Mum's gone. She's been a nightmare from step one.

_Luna and Minerva enter the room to cheers of happiness._

**Ginny:** Well done Luna!

**Luna:** I'm sorry about your Mum Ginny.

**Ginny:** Oh, don't worry about that, I'll get over it.

**Hermione:** I'm sorry Professor, about the way I was after you today.

**McGonagall:** Don't worry Granger. I should've listened to you from the start.

**Bellatrix:** Oh don't be so pathetically weak.

**Umbridge:** You'll learn this about Minerva, Bellatrix. She is pathetically weak.

_McGonagall gives Umbridge a long hard stare_

**Narrator:** 1 job. 15 candidates. Lord Sugar's search for a wizarding apprentice continues.


	5. Task 2: Organising the Teams

**A/N: Thank you for all your views and reviews. They always motivate me! It's great that other people are enjoying this because I certainly am.  
><strong>

**Task 2**

**Narrator:** Last week on the Apprentice

_Cuts to the last week's final boardroom_

**Lord Sugar:** Molly, I don't think you're in this to win it, so it is for that reason that I have to say that Molly, _*points at Molly*_ you're fired!

**Narrator:** Now 15 remain to try and become Lord Sugar's Wizarding Apprentice.

_Cuts to the house early in the morning. Most people are sleeping. The phone rings and Ron runs to answer it._

**Ron:** How do I answer one of these things again?

_Hermione strides over_

**Hermione:** Give it here!

_She snatches the phone off Ron and answers it._

**Hermione:** Hello?

**Phone:** Lord Sugar would like to see all of you at Paddington Train Station in 20 minutes.

**Hermione:** Ok.

_Hermione wakes up everyone in the house and they start preparing to apparate. Luna is unpacking the bag Lord Sugar gave her which has black robes inside, and talking to Arabella and McGonagall._

**Luna:** Are these really going to be better to do business in? They look boring to me.

**Arabella:** Well I just asked everyone else what they were wearing when I chose to be honest. I've spent a lot of years with muggles, and obviously those sort of clothes wouldn't go down so well.

**Luna:** Muggles dress weird.

**McGonagall:** _*her lips twitching*_ Quite.

**Narrator:** The candidates apparate (or side-along apparate, if they cannot apparate) to Paddington Station. Lord Sugar, Karen and Nick are waiting for them at the edge of Platform 1.

_The candidates stand opposite to Lord Sugar, Karen and Nick in their two teams from the last task and wait for Lord Sugar to speak. There is a train parked on the tracks behind Lord Sugar._

**Lord Sugar:** Well, good morning to you all. You must be wondering why I have you here, at a muggle train station? Well, I have you booked on a train, to another muggle train station. You see, today is September 1st and I'm sure at least the teachers and pupils among you can figure out what that means. The kids are off to Hogwarts. But we need to extract some final business out of them before they go. You guys are going to get on the Hogwarts Express, where there are two compartments saved especially for you. You are then going to offer some sort of service to those on the train. You'll have to figure out what that service is as you now board the train behind me and head off to King's Cross.

Tonight, we will meet in the boardroom, and whichever team makes the least money will lose, and from that team, somebody is going to be fired. Good luck.

_The teams walk into the train behind Lord Sugar and each team enters their own compartment._

**Narrator:** Lord Sugar has decided to keep the teams the same this week, to boys and girls, despite personal issues that both had in their teams. Karen will again follow Victory, while Nick again follows Wisdom. Team Victory is choosing a project manager.

_The boys are sitting in a cramped compartment._

**Voldemort:** So this week, I'd like the project manager to –

**Harry:** No, you're not choosing this week. I want to be project manager this week.

**Dobby:** Yes, yes! That's a great idea Harry Potter. Dobby thinks that Harry Potter should be project manager every week, and win us every task.

**Voldemort:** Go on then Potter! Make a fool of yourself!

**Harry (solitary interview):** I wanted to be project manager this time because I feel like I let the team down last week. Neville seems particularly upset, so maybe he'll be happier this week now I'm giving it a go.

**Narrator:** Meanwhiles, in Wisdom's compartment.

_The girls sit in a similarly cramped compartment._

**Umbridge:** Well you heard what Lord Sugar said last week. He thought I should have been project manager, and so this week –

**McGonagall: **He said no such thing! He said we shouldn't have shot you down like we did. He didn't suggest you'd have been any good at the job.

**Umbridge: **Well in any case, I'd like to be project manager this week.

**Bellatrix:** Fine, let's just get on with ideas, because I have some great ones!

**Nick (solitary interview): **Bellatrix decided that the matter of project manager needed no discussion, and so there was no discussion. Just because Lord Sugar said that Dolores should not be shot down, didn't mean there shouldn't be some reasonable debate. I think it's clear that it's Bellatrix here, and not Dolores, who is holding the reins.

**Bellatrix:** How about "Meet Bellatrix Lestrange"? That's a great service, and plenty of Slytherins would pay good money.

**McGonagall:** I don't think they would. Even the Slytherins are too scared of you for that.

**Bellatrix: **Hmph.

**Luna:** How about we guess what house the first years will be in?

**Ginny:** That's a good idea. I know I was really scared when I was being sorted that I wouldn't be in Gryffindor. We could help ease kids' minds.

**Hermione:** No, that's not a good idea.

**Ginny:** _*grumpily*_ Why this time then?

**Hermione:** Because –

**Umbridge:** Because girl, you are a huge moaner and don't have anything positive to contribute to this task, or to life. I say we go with batty girl's idea.

**Hermione:** NO! Don't you see! We're limiting ourselves to only a seventh of possible customers.

**Ginny:** …That's a fair point. But then what?

**Hermione:** Well I was thinking maybe a sort of class of, of basic spells or something.

**McGonagall:** But you realise you're falling into the same trap as Lovegood's idea? That will only appeal to first years as well.

**Hermione:** No it won't. People haven't done magic in 2 months. They'll like a basic reminder before they get back to proper classes.

**McGonagall:** …I suppose.

**Ginny:** Yeah, I can agree with that idea.

**Umbridge:** Fine…whatever.

_And in Team Victory's compartment._

**Harry:** So what ideas do we have? What service could we offer?

**Lucius:** *staring coldly at Dobby* Most house-elves are good at offering services. Sadly, the exception sits before us.

**Dobby:** Dobby wouldn't offer services to Master Lucius, no! But Dobby can do things for other people!

**Severus:** Sadly, I doubt Dobby can do anything of worth for this task. I think you'll have to sell again. We all know what a great job you did of that last time.

**Bill:** This personal attack on house-elves isn't getting us anywhere guys. We need an idea. What skills do we have?

**Neville:** _*talking to his feet*_ Well I have pretty much none…

**Ron:** Me neither…except…I have an idea.

**Bill:** What?

**Ron:** Well back in Divination –

**Harry:** - Oh yeah, you were truly brilliant at Divination Ron.

**Ron:** Let me finish. I was good at making up predictions in front of a crystal ball.

**Harry:** But people won't pay for you to make up predictions.

**Ron:** So just tell them that I'm not.

**Lucius:** You're going to defraud people Weasley?

**Ron:** No. Just call it like "Fortune Telling" and then say it's a laugh. If you tell people that, they'll buy, but it won't be fraud.

**Bill:** That's a point. People will pay for that. I don't know why, but they will.

**Harry:** …ok then. I suppose we'll go with that.

**Karen (solitary interview):** I'm really impressed with Ron here. He's right, fortune telling sells. Victory are onto another winner here, in terms of the idea.

_The train stops at King's Cross. The candidates leave, and then go through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10, where they then board the Hogwarts Express, shortly before it leaves._


	6. Task 2: Hogwarts Express

**Narrator:** Now the teams must sell and provide their service with a price of their choice.

_Harry, Ron, and Neville get into their compartment and start talking._

**Harry:** So. The price. I can't see that people are going to want to pay too much for a bit of fortune telling.

**Ron:** Nah, I don't think so either. Maybe a sickle?

**Neville:** Yeah, a sickle sounds good.

**Ron:** You'll get impulse buyers for that sort of price…so, us 3 stick around here and do the fortune telling while the other 5 go off and sell? Is that the plan?

**Harry:** Yeah, I think so. That was everyone's playing to their strengths.

**Ron:** Dobby?

**Harry:** Umm…don't worry about him. Now Neville, do you think you can give Bill the message that the price is 1 sickle. He'll spread it around.

**Neville:** Right. _*stands up and walks off*_

_Neville and Bill are talking in the corridor of the train with a bit of hustle and bustle of younger students around._

**Bill:** 1 sickle? Is that a bit low? But then again, what are we selling really. It's hard to justify much more than that. Ok, that's fine, I'll tell the others, if they haven't ran off to Knockturn Alley. Do you reckon you could tell Harry that nobody is taking Dobby seriously though. We need to find a better job for him I think.

**Neville:** Ok, I will.

_In a different section of corridor, Hermione, McGonagall and Umbridge are talking._

**Hermione:** So we're providing the service? It would definitely make sense for you to Professor, I think you add value to it.

**Umbridge:** Minerva adds no value to it. However, I was a good teacher and I do add value to it.

**Hermione: **We're teaching people how to do spells Umbridge. You have no experience at that.

**Umbridge:** Quiet little girl. You don't know what you're talking about. You can tag along with us for the ride if that makes you feel comfortable.

**Hermione:** It's not about me feeling comfortable!

**McGonagall:** Don't worry Granger. Now Dolores, has it occurred to you that 3 of the people who sold best last task are now not going to be selling? Only Bellatrix really sold well last time out of those who are selling today.

**Umbridge:** Well that's fine then. We'll hang the girls and the squib out to dry.

**McGonagall:** That's not how you win though. I don't disagree that we're the best to run this thing, but maybe you should sacrifice one of us to sales?

**Umbridge:** Well Minerva, that just shows your ineptitude.

**McGonagall:** …

**Umbridge:** Now, I've told the others that our lessons will be 15 minutes long and cost 7 sickles. No arguments.

_Silence_

**Nick (solitary interview):** So Dolores has decided it's appropriate for 3 of the best sales people on the team to sit out of selling today. She mentioned hanging the others out to dry, but I think Lord Sugar will see that she's hung herself out to dry with the way she's playing the game.

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, Victory is selling well at the start of the day.

_Snape in a compartment of 4 Slytherins._

**Slytherin boy:** Hello Professor! I didn't know you were on the train!

**Snape:** Yes. I'm doing something a bit different from teaching today. Would you like to know your fortune?

_The people in the compartment look at each other strangely._

**Snape:** It's only a sickle. It is being done by two Gryffindor buffoons, but the crystal balls they're using seem to at least work.

**Other Slytherin boy:** …That sounds like a bit of a laugh. I'd like to know what's going to happen to me this year.

**Slytherin boy:** Maybe we can punch the Gryffindors in the face while we're at it.

**Snape**: I wouldn't object.

_All the Slytherins leave the compartment and are directed to Victory's compartment by Snape._

**Karen (solitary interview):** Severus is only trying to sell to Slytherins at the moment. He's clearly using respect he already has to his advantage, however, he is limiting his market fourfold. Voldemort meanwhile, I have not seen much of. Whether he thinks he can have a quiet week after being the star last week, I don't know, but he's not helping himself at the moment at any rate.

_Now with Luna and Ginny, who are peeking into Victory's compartment_

**Ginny:** It's full in there. What are they doing?

**Luna:** I can see crystal balls. I never knew Ron was a Seer.

**Ginny:** He isn't. Looks like a fraud to me. Of course, if my mum was still here she'd be in there having her fortune told right now.

**Luna:** Doesn't it worry you how full that compartment is?

**Ginny:** Sort of. Last time I looked, ours was empty.

**Luna:** I don't want to end up in the boardroom again, it was scary!

_Luna runs off and starts going into random compartments, trying to sell. Four first years approach Victory's compartment._

**Ginny:** Where are you guys going?

**First year:** To have our fortune told.

**Ginny:** Wouldn't you rather use your money to do something constructive? We have 2 former Hogwarts teachers and the brightest person I've ever met teaching basic magic back there *she points towards Wisdom's compartment*

**First year:** That sounds really cool! How much though?

**Ginny:** 7 sickles

_The first years frown at each other, then nod._

**First year:** Ok! We'll go! Do we pay now or there?

**Ginny:** Pay once you're there.

_And the first years head off in a different direction._

**Ginny:** Yes! 28 sickles!

_Outside Wisdom's compartment someone who we cannot see is muttering to themselves._

**Voldemort:** Did she just say 7 sickles? And we're only charging 1. Well, no one will bother going there for that price. We've won. I might as well just spy on them for the rest of the day.

**Narrator:** Midway through the day, and Harry and Ron have closed shop and are having a break to decide if anything needs to change.

**Ron:** We're getting so many people! It's time for us to use a trick that Fred and George have taught me about business.

**Harry:** What's that?

**Ron:** If something's selling well, bump up the price. We could easily go to 3, even 4 sickles.

**Harry:** No, I don't think that's a good idea. People might stop buying at that price.

**Ron:** But we can quadruple the profit?

**Harry:** No. It won't work. No one will pay that much.

**Ron:** They'll happily pay one sickle.

**Harry:** I just don't think we can go any higher.

**Ron:** Fine.

**Narrator:** In Wisdom's compartment, more arguments.

**Hermione:** We're not getting enough people in Umbridge! Why can't you just go out and sell?

**Umbridge:** That would waste my talents which are best suited here. Look, I want to leave the others to sell.

**McGonagall:** No doubt so you have someone to blame if we lose. Dolores, this Is ridiculous. We're wasting a lot of time in here.

**Umbridge:** You two don't get it! You're both too stupid, too foolish. Just stay here and do as I say!

_Bellatrix walks in._

**Bellatrix:** Ha mudblood! Your idea turned out to be a bad one didn't it! I haven't managed to sell it to anybody!

**McGonagall:** Well maybe you should look at your sales then, because both Ginny and Luna have managed to get a few people here.

**Bellatrix:** They were probably lucky. Then again, babies probably prefer to follow the advice of babies. How has the squib sold?

**Umbridge:** None as well.

**Bellatrix:** Well there we go then! Just goes to show.

**McGonagall:** You probably scare everybody away Bellatrix. You need to be a bit more subtle.

**Bellatrix:** Don't you dare tell me what to do. Don't you dare.

_Bellatrix leaves the room slamming the door shut. Arabella walks in shortly after._

**Arabella:** So how did those people I sent here do?

**McGonagall:** …Umm…Arabella…nobody has come here sent by you.

**Arabella:** What? Yes they have. After I showed them my cat pictures they practically ran here.

**Umbridge: **Or ran away maybe…

**McGonagall:** Kindly escort any future people here so you know they actually came here Arabella. What you're doing now is not working.

**Nick (solitary interview):** Wisdom are a mess at the moment. They're all embroiled in one big argument. The only people who aren't getting involved are Ginny and Luna. Why's that? It's because they're the only ones out there convincing people to come and making the money. I don't think they've got nearly enough people but they're at least contributing. As for the lessons that Minerva, Dolores and Hermione are providing, there is so much bitter tension between the 3 of them as they conduct them that I doubt that people are recommending them to their friends. That will be hurting them as well.

**Narrator:** As the afternoon progresses, the boys still get much more business through the doors.

_Bill is escorting 3 people into Victory's compartment, when Lucius wanders over._

**Lucius:** Weasley! You haven't seen the Dark Lord have you?

**Bill:** Umm…no, I haven't. I'd have thought he'd be aggressively selling.

**Lucius:** I'm sure he is, but he's just avoiding you. Did it ever occur to you that 1 sickle might not be enough for this?

**Bill:** Potentially I can see that…it's a bit late in the day now though isn't it.

**Lucius:** Well Weasley, you ought to have been shrewd enough to spot it earlier.

**Bill:** You didn't either!

**Lucius:** Who was it who was told the price by Longbottom again?

**Bill:** Well that would be me.

**Lucius:** So why didn't you tell him then?

**Bill:** Because a sickle seemed reasonable for the service we were providing.

**Lucius:** In short, you're a fool.

**Karen (solitary interview):** There's a lot of panic in the boys about the low price that they've sold at today. The only person who doesn't seem to be getting it is Harry. I just can't see with this price that their profits are going to be good enough.

**Narrator:** Time's ticking down. Less people are leaving their compartments as they change into their robes ready to arrive at Hogwarts. There is still time for one final push however.

_Luna is talking to a group of 5 third years in the corridor._

**Luna:** If you're worried that you're not going to be up to scratch this year, then a few people including Professor McGonagall are doing quick basic lessons to bring you back up to scratch.

**Third Year:** McGonagall is there?

**Luna:** Yes. She'll help you out. She's in a much better mood than usual!

**Third Year:** I say we all go

_Murmurs of agreement, and then all 5 stand up and go._

**Luna (solitary interview):** This is not like when I've sold the Quibbler in the past. People buy the Quibbler in ones, but today, it seems when you get a sale, you get a big sale! It feels really good!

**Narrator:** The last 10 minutes, and neither team has any custom. Silence in both rooms, as both teams look dejected.

_The train stops at Hogsmeade Station and everyone leaves._

**Hermione (solitary interview):** We did not get enough people through that door, I'm convinced. What were Bellatrix and Arabella doing all day, and why didn't Umbridge have her, me or McGonagall selling? It'd be so frustrating to lose again, but it'll give me a chance to get the toad fired.

**Narrator:** The kids are going to school, but our candidates are going to a much more sombre place. The boardroom.


	7. Task 2: The Boardroom

_The candidates enter the boardroom and sit opposite Lord Sugar, Nick and Karen in their two teams._

**Lord Sugar:** So then, more selling to kids! Now they're at school maybe the tasks can change direction, but there's so much business when they're not that you've got to take advantage.

_The candidates nod at Sugar's musings._

**Lord Sugar:** So, we'll start with Wisdom. Dolores was your project manager yes? What did we all think?

_Bellatrix, Hermione and McGonagall all try and speak at once_

**Lord Sugar:** One at a time, one at a time. Bellatrix, what was your view?

**Bellatrix**: Dolores was our project manager? I didn't know that.

**Lord Sugar:** …

**McGonagall:** She decided that she would sit back on her title of project manager and do nothing with it I think. Despite constant objections from myself and Miss Granger, she chose to run the service with us and not contribute to the selling and the managing of the salespeople.

**Dolores:** Now, now Minerva, I can't allow you to dirty my name like that. I decided to help run the lessons because I knew that I could do a good job, allowing our great lessons to be recommended to everyone around the train and get more customers.

**Nick:** That's not how I saw it. The resentment between you, Minerva and Hermione made the lessons anything but pleasant, and all customers you got were generated by Ginny and Luna alone, rather than word of mouth.

**Lord Sugar:** Hang on a minute, one thing at a time. So what was the service you chose to offer?

**Hermione:** Basic magic lessons to allow people to either get their first taste of magic, or to serve as a reminder for older students before returning to school.

**Lord Sugar:** I admire the spirit of the idea, and as you have a respected teacher of Hogwarts in Minerva it makes sense to use your skills.

_Dolores looks particularly bitter_

**Lord Sugar:** But did you consider that you were limiting your market by this idea? I bet you didn't get many seventh years in for this.

**McGonagall:** I did mention that at the time.

**Lord Sugar:** It's all very well mentioning it Minerva, but clearly you didn't manage to stop it.

**Nick:** And if I do say so myself, you rather managed to get sweet talked into it by Hermione. Hermione was surprisingly manipulative to force her idea through.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm. Now Nick, did I hear you say that all customers were generated by Ginny and Luna?

_Nick nods_

**Lord Sugar:** So you had 5 people running the lessons and only 2 people selling them?

**Umbridge:** No. Only Minerva, Granger and myself ran the lessons. Bellatrix and Arabella, as well as Lovegood and Weasley were all supposed to be selling.

_Long pause._

**Lord Sugar:** …So two people were able to sell, whilst 2 were basically useless to the team.

_Another pause._

**Lord Sugar:** Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. With all these kids, how could you possibly get no sales. Bellatrix, you seem to have gone from hero to zero!

**Bellatrix:** Well Umbridge would like you to think that, but I'm sure you can see the pattern. Kiddies can sell to kiddies. I mean seriously, could you imagine that freak Lovegood selling to anyone without the gullibility of youth!

**Lord Sugar:** Don't try and pull the wool over my eyes because I'm not going to fall for it. You were completely outsold by Luna on this task, and there is no way to spin that in your favour. And if adults can't sell to kids, then explain how Severus and Bill seemed perfectly fine at selling on the other team.

**Bellatrix:** …

**Lord Sugar:** And Arabella, you're sitting there quietly again. Now last week I told you it was unacceptable how little you contributed to the team. As far as I can see, you've contributed even less this time. Tell me what the bloody hell you bring to this process, because as far as I can see, it might as well be one of your cats doing your job instead of you so far.

**Arabella:** I contributed to the discussions at the beginning of the tasks.

**Nick:** You didn't.

**Arabella:** I did! I –

**Nick:** You contributed absolutely nothing of value. You might as well not have been there.

**Arabella:** I…and I did my utmost to sell throughout the day. I managed to convince several people to go but I think they must've got lost.

**Nick:** I think they were scared away by your constant showing of cat photos. That really is not an effective sales technique.

**Lord Sugar:** _*amused*_ You're giving Arabella a grilling there Nick.

**Nick:** I'm just trying to highlight the fact that she contributed absolutely nothing to this task and absolutely nothing last week. She's trying to slide under the radar.

**Arabella:** I am trying no such thing! I just –

**Lord Sugar:** Look, I think we could be here all day, and I think it would be safe to say that Wisdom was a complete disaster, even more than last week. Now, Victory, brighten my day up please. Harry was the project manager I believe. What did we think of him?

**Bill:** He was reasonably effective, decisive and on top of things.

**Snape:** On the contrary, I think Potter's actions were dictated by what other people were saying, rather than any individual decisiveness. Potter also ran the service rather than the sales, meaning he was not on top of what wasted manpower there was in our team. _*Snape looks around at Dobby*_

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm…so two very different views of Harry's performance. Harry, what was the service that you provided?

**Harry:** Fortune telling with crystal balls, for a sickle.

**Lord Sugar:** You have a Seer in your team?

**Harry:** Well no, not exactly, but we were open about how it wasn't to be taken too seriously.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm. That's fine, and the idea is great. Fortune telling is such a popular thing and even if people know it's not real, they still hold stock in it. Whose idea was this?

**Ron:** _*looking pleased with himself*_ It was mine Lord Sugar

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm. Impressive. The boys are definitely trumping the girls on ideas so far then. However, I did hear something earlier that was not pleasing to me.

**Ron:** Is it the price Lord Sugar?

**Lord Sugar:** Yes it's the bloody price. 1 sickle. _*looks over at the girls*_ How much did you lot charge?

**Umbridge:** 7 sickles.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. That's a big difference isn't it guys? Confident you made it up?

_Silence_

**Karen:** There was a lot of discontent in the team about the price. Pretty much everyone except Harry thought it should've been increased because the idea was so popular. Ron directly voiced this to Harry in the middle of the day but was shot down.

**Lord Sugar:** _*shakes head*_ Harry, we're talking real basics here. If something is selling exceptionally well then that's a sign you might want to look at bumping up the price, especially if you're selling at a measly sickle. Did you know that the other team were selling their service at 7 times the price of yours?

**Voldemort:** I did Lord Sugar.

_Everyone looks around, surprised._

**Lord Sugar:** And you informed the rest of the team about this?

**Voldemort:** No, because I didn't think it was necessary.

**Bill:** Where were you all day anyway? I didn't see you anywhere.

**Lord Sugar:** _*glancing down at a sheet of paper*_ Am I reading this right? I said Bellatrix had gone from hero to zero earlier, but you? You sold nothing?

**Karen:** And nowhere to be seen all day.

**Lord Sugar:** …Well, if Karen couldn't find you then I'm convinced you mustn't have been there. Down Knockturn Alley again? Knocking off? Because I can't have people doing that in my business, that's for sure.

**Voldemort:** I was spying on the other team.

**Lord Sugar:** But you didn't report back your findings? This was all secret individual work? And where were you?

**Voldemort:** Invisible, so they didn't know I was there.

**Lord Sugar:** I'm all for finding out what the other team are doing, but this is a joke. You were slacking off all day. You are this close to being fired right now!

_Long, long pause._

**Lord Sugar: **…Well, I'm not sure I want to hear anymore. Nick, Karen, I'd like the results please. We'll start with Victory I think.

**Karen:** Victory got 101 customers, bringing in a total of 5 galleons, 16 sickles.

**Lord Sugar:** …A complete pittance then. And Wisdom?

**Nick:** Well Wisdom got notably less people through their doors, with only 34. However, this amounted to exactly 14 galleons of money made.

_The girls celebrate while the boys look dejected._

**Lord Sugar:** Well I'd like to say that that's a great performance there girls, but I'd be lying. You just about managed to cover the cost of renting the compartment out for the day, and that's the best I can say for that.

**Nick:** The girls have a lot to owe to Luna and Ginny, who sold resolutely in a team that had a pretty poor atmosphere about it.

_Luna beams at Ginny, while Ginny looks quite impassive about the compliment_

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm, looks like at least you two have learned something from last week. Well, with that said, I suppose for your sakes you just about deserve a treat. How does a Quidditch lesson with Gwenog Jones, captain of the Holyhead Harpies sound to you?

_Most of the girls beam, but Hermione doesn't look too pleased with the reward._

**Lord Sugar: **Right, you enjoy that, reflect on what I've said, and I'll see you again next week.

_The girls walk out and celebrate in the room outside, leaving a bunch of glum looking boys behind._

**Lord Sugar:** Well I think it would be fair to say that this task turned out to be more of a train wreck than anything else for you. Go away and reflect on how you managed to lose to one of the most torn teams I have ever seen, and then you will come back and we'll talk about where it went wrong. One of you is going to be fired.

_The boys leave the boardroom. After they've gone:_

**Nick:** I honestly can't believe that the team that I was watching was a winning team.

**Lord Sugar:** It was a win by default today for Wisdom. Nothing more.

_At a generic Quidditch pitch, a woman is straightening up the girls' grip on their brooms. The writing "Firebolt" is clearly shown on them. As they take off there are several screams._

**Luna (shouting from midair):** So this is what it's like to fly a Firebolt! This is much more fun than a normal broom!

**Luna (solitary interview on the ground):** I'm so pleased that Nick singled me out for praise to Lord Sugar this week! I really enjoyed the task, but I can see that not everyone did.

**Ginny (solitary interview):** The team's a joke. I worked so hard this week and if I'd have been in that boardroom on the losing team again I'd have been livid. Hermione has spent most of the process being grumpy, Bellatrix is as expected, doing her own thing with no care for the team. Umbridge is stirring up hatred, and I haven't noticed Arabella's presence at all_. *she manages a smile*_ Really great treat though! A dream come true.

_Everyone lands reasonably well. Hermione speaks to Ginny._

**Hermione:** Gosh, that was better than I thought! Gwenog's really nice isn't she!

**Hermione (solitary interview):** We were lucky to win this week. Umbridge was a terrible project manager, and I only wish I could have had the chance to get her fired this week.

_We now see the boys at the grotty café, sitting around a table and looking miserable._

**Snape: **Well it's clear whose fault this is Potter. You had the winning method chucked in your face by Weasley of all people, and you failed to do anything with it. Nothing less than I expected.

**Harry (solitary interview):** Snape's only trying to pin this all on me because he hates me. I'd love to know what his master, Voldemort, was up to all day.

**Dobby:** Don't try and pin this on Harry Potter! He was very, very good! Dobby is upset because Dobby did not sell anything and he let Harry Potter down. Dobby is most sorry…

**Lucius:** Did it not occur to you, you pitiful creature, that Potter should've recognised you weren't selling and should've taken you off sales.

**Lucius (solitary interview):** Last week we were managed by Slytherins and won. This week we were managed by Gryffindors and we lost. Coincidence? I think not.

**Narrator:** And now, the losing team have to face Lord Sugar in the boardroom

_The boys enter the boardroom, with Harry sitting in the middle._

**Lord Sugar:** So then, have you identified why you guys lost the task?

**Harry:** We lost the task because our price was too low.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. So who came up with the price?

**Ron:** That was me Lord Sugar. I thought 1 sickle seemed reasonable at the time, because I wasn't sure how valuable people would consider it to be. But as soon as I saw that loads of people were coming, I told Harry we ought to up the price.

**Lord Sugar:** Well I admire your honesty. You realise that you would have needed to tell 238 people's fortunes to equal Wisdom's profits? You crippled yourself from the very beginning. However, if you had changed the price then you would've stood a much better chance of challenging. So Harry, can you explain to me why you decided to not follow Ron's advice?

**Harry:** Because we were getting a lot of customers so I thought we were doing the right thing.

**Lord Sugar: **If I started giving brooms away then I'd get a lot of customers. Doesn't mean I'd be doing anything close to the right thing! You realise that 50 customers paying 2 sickles is the same as 100 paying 1.

**Harry:** Lord Sugar, I thought I was doing the right thing because it was only Ron who was concerned about the price. Nobody else said anything about it to me.

**Karen: **Well the rest of the team agreed that the price was too low, as I said earlier.

**Harry:** But I wasn't told that.

**Lord Sugar:** Is this true? Did you guys think you could just not say anything to Harry and use him as a scapegoat later? Trust me, if you did, I'll catch you out here and now and don't expect to be leaving this boardroom with a smile on your face today. Now, let me address some quiet people. Neville, you've said very little. What exactly was your contribution to the task?

**Neville:** I did the fortune telling Lord Sugar.

**Lord Sugar:** I see. Easy place to hide I suppose. Nothing could go wrong there.

**Neville:** No Lord Sugar, I just thought I'd do best in there.

**Bill:** He did provide some communications between Harry and myself. For example, he told Harry that Dobby was not doing well with sales and he ought to do something different.

_Neville suddenly looks anxious_

**Harry: **No he didn't.

**Bill:** He didn't? But I asked him to?

**Neville:** I forgot…

**Lord Sugar:** You forgot to tell your leader that one of his team was doing nothing. A bit of increased communication would've gone a long way towards helping the team. Dobby could have been moved to a role where he was more suited. So Dobby, you instead endeavoured to tell your project manager that it wasn't working out with you selling.

**Dobby**: Dobby did not tell Harry Potter this, because Dobby just wanted to follow orders. Dobby's order was to sell, and so that was what Dobby tried to do. But Dobby failed! Dobby failed Harry Potter!

**Lord Sugar:** Dobby, you failed because you didn't tell Harry that you weren't selling!

**Dobby:** Like Dobby said, Dobby just wanted to follow orders!

**Lord Sugar:** Well I'm afraid that I need someone who can make decisions to be my Apprentice Dobby.

_Dobby gulps._

**Lord Sugar:** Now Severus, from what I hear from Karen you were very one dimensional in your sales.

**Snape:** What do you mean?

**Karen:** You were only trying to sell to Slytherins. You were limiting your market to a quarter of everybody, when there was no reason to.

**Snape:** I was trying to get a higher percentage of sales, so as to waste less time. I felt that I would best sell to Slytherins, so that is what I tried to do.

**Lord Sugar:** So just sticking to your comfort zone then is it, and not putting a foot out? Sounds like laziness to me, and this team has been rife with that. Voldemort, I still don't understand why you did bugger all today.

**Voldemort: **I was spying on the other team.

**Lord Sugar:** But you weren't reporting your findings back, so you were doing nothing! Your team was a man down! You should be grateful that I haven't fired you already!

**Voldemort: **I thought my performance last week showed –

**Lord Sugar:** You need to perform every week, because that's what business is like in real life! You can't just take breaks on the job. It doesn't work like that. _*long pause*_ The more and more I hear about this, the more I realise the disorganised shambles that this team was. Now Harry, I need to know which two people you're bringing back into the boardroom.

**Harry: **_*looks deep in thought*_ I want to bring back Voldemort, and Snape.

_Snape looks around at Harry with venom._

**Lord Sugar:** Voldemort and Snape? Are you sure that you are doing this for the right reasons?

**Harry:** Yes, I believe these two are the reason we lost the task.

**Lord Sugar:** Really…well I hope for your sakes that's the case. OK, well Neville, Dobby, you've been let off the hook this week. Don't expect it to happen again with performances like this. Now get back to the house.

_Neville, Dobby, Ron, Bill and Lucius leave to go to the house._

**Lord Sugar:** Ok, you 3 wait outside and give me a second to talk this over with Nick and Karen. When you come back in, one of you will be fired.

_The 3 of them leave and sit in the outside waiting room._

**Lord Sugar:** Now, are we sure Harry has brought these people in for the right reasons?

**Nick:** It's evident for us all to see that Harry has a personal vendetta against Severus.

**Lord Sugar:** Hmm…

**Karen:** Voldemort was completely absent from this task. Literally.

**Lord Sugar:** An outrage, quite frankly. If it weren't for his performance last week, I'd have fired him a long time ago.

**Karen:** And as for Severus, I can't really see why Harry chose him.

**Lord Sugar:** Well Harry had better know something you don't then, because I won't tolerate people being brought back in for personal reasons. Ok, I might as well call them back in now.

_The 3 of them re-enter the boardroom and sit with Harry in the middle._

**Lord Sugar:** So Harry, explain why Severus is back in here.

**Harry:** Because he has been negative towards my leadership the whole task and only sold to Slytherins.

**Karen:** He did what you told him to. He managed to get a lot of sales from the Slytherins.

**Lord Sugar:** See Harry, I'm just hoping that you haven't brought him back in for personal reasons. Why were Snape's crimes worse than say, Dobby's or Neville's. Both of them seemed useless on this task.

**Harry:** Because they were working for the team. Snape was being lazy and –

**Lord Sugar:** Now you're taking words out of my mouth. If Snape can do as well as he did while being lazy, then that shows how much better of a candidate he is than Dobby, who can do nothing while he tries his hardest. Who do you think should be fired?

**Harry:** Well, Voldemort, because he was completely absent the whole day.

**Voldemort:** I wasn't. I was spying!

**Lord Sugar:** Don't start this argument again. You might as well have not been on that train.

**Snape:** If I may, Lord Sugar. You see, what Potter has failed to realise is that when he's project manager and one of his team is missing the whole day and he doesn't realise, then that reflects badly on his management skills.

**Harry:** It's not like anyone told me he was missing.

**Snape:** I don't recall you giving anyone the orders to check that all of our team were present. I was too busy selling to notice myself. Meanwhile you were pretending to gaze into crystal balls and making stuff up. A difficult job I'm sure, and one that will no doubt be used countless times as Lord Sugar's Apprentice.

**Lord Sugar:** Oh you can play the sarcasm game Severus, that's for sure. So I take it that you think I should fire Harry.

**Snape:** Of course you should fire Potter. I told you what I thought of his project management right from the start.

**Lord Sugar:** Right. And Voldemort, why exactly shouldn't I fire you?

**Voldemort: **I won last week all by myself!

**Karen:** That's not true. Severus came up with the idea that won the task.

**Voldemort: **But I delivered on the real business.

**Lord Sugar:** I want creativity as well Voldemort.

**Voldemort:** Well I'm sure you can see from my CV that I am in fact a very creative person.

**Lord Sugar:** I'll admit that, for example, your attempt to murder Harry Potter in his fourth year by entering him into the Triwizard Tournament and trying to make him win was creative. However, it didn't succeed did it.

**Voldemort:** I -

**Lord Sugar:** That's enough speaking from you now. I'm going to make my decision. Severus, I'm not sure why Harry brought you back in here when I think that there were people far more deserving that could be sitting in your seat. Voldemort, your behaviour on this task has been outrageous and I would have instantly sacked you had you been working for me. Harry, your failure to see that the price was not working out, and your inability to manage your team today has certainly worried me.

Look Harry, I admired you putting yourself forward for the job of project manager, it was a brave thing to do. Unfortunately for you, it showed me that you just don't have enough basic business sense to work for me, and so it is for that reason that Harry, you're fired!

**Harry:** Thank you for the opportunity.

_Harry stands up and walks out of the room, sitting in the waiting room._

**Lord Sugar (to Voldemort):** I could so easily have went the other way on this one. If this happens again you will be fired on the spot. Do you understand?

_Voldemort nods_

**Lord Sugar:** Fine. Then get back to the house, both of you. And warn the rest of them about what happens when you bring people in for personal reasons, rather than business ones.

_Voldemort and Snape leave the room, walking straight through the waiting room without offering Harry a second glance. Harry follows behind them with a suitcase, speaking on his way out._

**Harry (solitary interview):** Lord Sugar didn't have to put up with Snape all day. I couldn't do it again. And I don't know how Voldemort got away with what he did…

**Narrator:** Back at the house, everyone is waiting anxiously to see who's fired.

**Bellatrix:** The Dark Lord will come back. How dare Potter bring him into the boardroom.

**Lucius:** Severus did nothing wrong, so I don't know why Potter brought him in.

**Ginny:** I just pray Harry comes back. Bring some sanity into this house…

**Luna:** Harry's so nice, he deserves to come back.

_Voldemort and Snape enter the room. Bellatrix cackles and Dobby wails._

**Dobby:** NO! It is all Dobby's fault! Dobby should be fired, not Harry Potter! Dobby will chuck himself

from the top of this house as punishment.

**Hermione:** Don't be stupid Dobby!

_Dobby runs off, and Hermione follows to stop him._

**Snape:** Potter could probably have bought himself another week if he'd have brought the elf in. Thank God he didn't I say.

**Voldemort:** The muggle said that Harry should have brought neither myself or Severus back into the boardroom. That we were brought in only for personal reasons.

_Snape gives Voldemort a little look, but then smirks._

**Narrator:** One job. Now only 14 candidates left. Lord Sugar's search for an Apprentice continues.


	8. Task 3: Day 1

**A/N: As usual, thank you for your reviews, views, favourites etc. It's all very nice and satisfying. I discovered yesterday to my annoyance that Karren Brady's name is (strangely) spelled Karren, not Karen. I'm not going to change it in the past 2 tasks because I'm too lazy, but I will from now on use the correct spelling! A quick warning about this task. Lord Sugar is going to start swapping the teams around. I hope it doesn't confuse you too much!**

**Task 3**

**Narrator:** Last week on the Apprentice,

_We see last week's boardroom_

**Lord Sugar:** Harry, I admired you putting yourself forward for the job of project manager, it was a brave thing to do. Unfortunately for you, it showed me that you just don't have enough basic business sense to work for me, and so it is for that reason that Harry, you're fired!

**Narrator:** Harry bit the dust as Lord Sugar showed he meant business. Now only 14 candidates remain with a chance to become Lord Sugar's wizarding apprentice.

_At the Apprentice house in the morning, the phone rings. Arabella Figg answers it._

**Arabella:** Hello?

**Phone:** Lord Sugar is waiting for you in front of the office of The Guardian newspaper. He would like you all to be there as soon as possible.

**Arabella:** Ok

_She puts the phone down and starts shouting._

**Arabella:** We need to get to the office of The Guardian newspaper as soon as possible!

_Hermione and Ginny are seen waking up._

**Ginny:** The Guardian newspaper? What's that?

**Hermione:** A muggle newspaper. Why does he want us to go there?

**Ginny:** Dunno.

**Hermione (solitary interview): **Harry's exit was very hard for us to take last week, but we have to get over it. It just shows that none of us are safe, and we have to fight for our right to be here. I've been driven by it, if anything.

_Voldemort and Bellatrix are talking just before apparating_

**Bellatrix:** A muggle newspaper? I don't want to go anywhere near that filth!

**Voldemort: **We went to a muggle train station last time. He's just distracting us.

**Bellatrix:** This "Lord Sugar" guy is really winding me up. Who does he think he is anyway, calling himself 'Lord'? That's your title.

**Voldemort:** Just what I'd expect from such a dirty muggle.

_They apparate. Now we're outside a big office building. Lord Sugar, Karren and Nick are waiting in a car park. The candidates start appearing in front of them and split into their two teams._

**Lord Sugar: **So, you must be wondering why I have brought you here, to a muggle newspaper office. Well newspapers are a tradition in more than just the muggle world. The wizarding newspaper market is dominated by The Daily Prophet. Yet as I'm sure a lot of you know, there is some dissatisfaction with the Prophet. This means that there is a gap in the market. A gap that you can exploit.

Your task is to write your own first issue of a daily newspaper. You will need to brand it and write it today. Tomorrow, you will go to wizarding businesses, pitch to them, and convince them to advertise in the pilot issue of your newspaper.

_There is a lot of smiling and satisfaction at this task._

**Lord Sugar:** The team that brings in the most advertising revenue will win, the other will lose and from that team, someone will be fired. Now, I think it's time to switch the teams around a bit. So Umbridge and Minerva, I'd like you to move to Victory.

_Umbridge and McGonagall scowl at each other before walking to the other team._

**Lord Sugar:** Ron and Severus, I'd like you to move to Wisdom.

_Ron and Snape also scowl at each other as they move._

**Lord Sugar:** Now before you go, there are a few people here who seem to think they can hide in the shadows and get away with it. It won't wash with me, so Arabella, you're project manager of Wisdom. Dobby, you're going to be project manager of Victory. There is nowhere to hide in this process.

_Lucius looks shocked at the thought of Dobby as project manager._

**Lord Sugar:** Now then, off you go.

**Narrator:** The teams have been given a selection of news investigations from Lord Sugar's sources. It is up to the teams to decide which of these is appropriate for their newspapers, and to write their own articles on them. But first, they have to sort out their target market.

_Victory are sitting around a table._

**Dobby:** So…Dobby doesn't know what to do. Dobby has never read a newspaper in his life. Master didn't let Dobby read.

**Lucius: **Like a worthless creature like you could understand the news anyway.

**Umbridge:** Yes, shut up house elf. Let the adults get on with it. I say we should target a Ministry demographic.

**Bill:** That's what the Prophet does already. Definitely not.

**Lucius:** The Prophet has lost a lot of respect in the Ministry. I agree with Dolores here.

**Bill:** The Prophet has no respect outside of the Ministry. I would know.

**Umbridge:** Shut up. You're part of Dumbledore's group aren't you. A fringe rebellion society. It would be foolish to target a newspaper towards you.

**Bill:** That's not what I want!

**McGonagall:** Weasley's right. The Daily Prophet has little respect with the Hogwarts staff certainly, even the ones not in the Order.

**Umbridge:** They're all Dumbledore's cronies as well though aren't they! I would know!

**Bill:** A lot of goblins I've spoken to have said they'd buy a newspaper if it was less anti-goblin, even if it was written by wizards.

**Lucius:** Goblins are worthless scum, forget about them.

**Voldemort:** Yes, goblins, house-elves *smiles at Dobby*, they're all in the same worthless boat.

**Neville:** Grandma doesn't read the Prophet either.

**Umbridge:** Look, we're going for a Ministry-oriented newspaper and that's final.

**Voldemort:** Yes. Isn't it Dobby?

**Dobby: **Umm…Dobby. Dobby does not know sir!

**Voldemort:** Then yes it is!

**McGonagall:** You can't do that.

**Voldemort:** Yes I can.

**Umbridge:** We can't sit around here wasting time all day can we Minerva. So let's go with a Ministry theme.

**McGonagall:** No, I simply cannot allow this. Dobby, you're the project manager, so it's your decision.

**Lucius:** Yes Dobby. Your decision. Just remember who your master was.

**Dobby:** I…um…I…Dobby has to agree with Master Lucius.

**McGonagall:** No you don't! Lucius is not your master anymore.

**Dobby:** Dobby still finds it too difficult to disobey a direct order from Master Lucius. Dobby is most sorry.

**Voldemort:** Well that settles that then! Now let's look for some stories that cover up the damage I am doing to the wizarding world…

**Karen (solitary interview): **It's easy to see that there are two factions to this team. One seems to have business interests in mind. The other is more focused on personal matters. It's frustrating for me to watch.

**Narrator: **Meanwhile, at Team Wisdom.

_Wisdom are sitting around a table_

**Arabella:** Well it's clear what Lord Sugar wants! He wants something that appeals to those who don't like the Prophet!

**Luna:** People like the Prophet? Daddy says their high sales figures are the paper's journalists buying lots of copies to make themselves look better.

**Hermione:** No. It's just there's no other choices, and so people are forced to buy it.

**Snape:** Congratulations Granger. If there were an award for stating the obvious such that you sound intelligent, you'd win it.

**Arabella: **Uh, yes, well, anyway. I'd like to make something that…that credits Dumbledore more.

_There are nods of agreement from around the table, but one person doesn't seem too happy._

**Bellatrix: **Dumbledore! Something that credits Dumbledore! Oh squibby, you must be having a laugh! What is there to credit about Dumbledore!

**Hermione:** Far more than there is to credit you for –

**Bellatrix:** You dare speak to me mudblood.

**Snape:** Now, now Bellatrix. It's not about what's right, it's about what sells. Something positive about Dumbledore would most surely sell.

**Ginny:** Because it's right!

**Bellatrix:** Listen little girl. Dumbledore is nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not when compared to my beloved…my wonderful…

**Ron:** Oh shut up. Dumbledore's ten times the wizard of You-know-who, and a million times the person.

**Bellatrix:** You dare insult my master...filthy blood traitor.

**Snape:** Come on Bellatrix, let's get back to business.

**Bellatrix:** Since when did I take orders from you, eh Snape? Never. I never took orders from you, and I still don't. I don't trust you.

**Arabella:** Well I'm the project manager and I say that we're going with a pro-Dumbledore theme.

**Hermione:** Pro-Dumbledore's morals and ideologies as well.

**Arabella:** Yes. That too.

**Bellatrix:** Well don't expect me to help write it squibby!

**Arabella:** I don't, because you and Severus are going to be in charge of creating the brand identity while the rest of us write it.

_Bellatrix and Snape look at each other apprehensively._

**Nick (solitary interview):** Wisdom always seem to have a wedge in their team. I thought with Dolores leaving that might be gone but Bellatrix has simply filled her shoes. She's trying to run the show but in fairness to Arabella, and indeed everyone else, they're standing up to her. I'm not sure that "pro Dumbledore" is necessarily a theme they can base their entire newspaper on however.

**Narrator:** In Victory, Minerva and Bill have agreed to do the branding for the newspaper.

_McGonagall and Bill are sitting with quills and a large piece of parchment in front of them._

**Bill:** I hate to say it, but Dobby is useless. He doesn't know what he's doing.

**McGonagall:** House-elves have got a long way to go before they can get into business. I daresay wizards have restricted their intelligence capacity unfortunately.

**Bill:** Hmm. If only the same could be said for goblins. Some of those blighters are too intelligent for their own good.

**McGonagall: **Sadly that doesn't help us brand this paper. We need a name.

**Bill:** A name for a Ministry-supportive paper? I have two suggestions. The Daily Trash.

**McGonagall:** I don't think so.

**Bill:** Or the Daily Prophet.

**McGonagall:** … This won't get us anywhere. How about The…The… -

_An owl lands on the table with a little pink note attached._

**McGonagall:** What's this rubbish?

_McGonagall grabs the note and scowls at it._

**McGonagall:** I should've known. "Send name back ASAP so we can critique it and suggest improvements. Yours, Dolores". Yes, whatever Dolores. So the one job we feel we can do is essentially being taken away from us.

**Bill:** Hey, I'm all for a bit of critique.

**McGonagall:** But you realise that critique actually means that they'll just decide the name themselves and what we say means nothing.

**Bill:** Oh. Right.

**McGonagall:** _*sighs* _We'll have to soldier on regardless.

_At Victory's main HQ, the rest of Victory are sitting at numerous desks writing._

**Umbridge:** Some of these reports that Lord Sugar gave us are great. Cornelius Fudge voted most popular Minister of all time.

**Lucius:** You do realise that that survey was skewed. The only people they surveyed were people high up at the Ministry.

**Umbridge:** Don't worry about the details.

**Lucius:** I wasn't. I was one of the people who voted for Cornelius on that survey.

**Umbridge:** _*gives a girlish giggle*_ The thing is that writing a newspaper is all about telling people what they want to read.

_Neville scoffs._

**Umbridge:** I'm sorry dear boy? Was that a noise I heard?

**Neville:** Newspapers should be about reporting the truth.

**Umbridge:** You don't understand what it is to be a journalist clearly.

**Neville:** Maybe I don't want to.

**Umbridge:** Yes, ignorance is sometimes the best way Longbottom.

_Voldemort is seen shuffling through the papers of reports Lord Sugar provided for them. He suddenly lets out a high pitched cackle._

**Voldemort:** I've found our front page story! I have here an eyewitness account who saw Lord Voldemort's dead body.

_Umbridge and Lucius laugh._

**Voldemort:** Apparently they were unable to prove it to the authorities because they chucked it into the ocean just in case. We'll omit that, and just say that the Ministry of Magic Is investigating the claims.

**Umbridge:** That is the perfect front page story. Morale boosting, just what the ministry needs!

**Neville:** Now that's just lying!

**Voldemort:** But you agree with me it's funny right Longbottom?

_Neville remains silent. Dobby enters the room holding 4 cups._

**Dobby: **Here are those cups of tea you ordered Master Lucius.

_Dobby gives a cup to each person in the room. Karren is in the background shaking her head. She decides to step in and speak. She looks outraged._

**Karren: **This is complete undermining of the leader.

**Lucius:** Our project manager isn't project managing, if you hadn't noticed.

**Karren:** Well on your head be it then.

_Karren takes a step back and resumes watching while Lucius gives her a fleeting glare._

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, Wisdom are also having issues in the writing room.

_Wisdom are sitting at tables writing similar to Victory. Ron is looking over Ginny's shoulder._

**Ron:** Let me have a look at what you're writing?

**Ginny:** _*puts her arms over the story*_ Oh get lost! Write your own story!

**Ron:** Fine, be that way. Just wanted to see the headline.

**Hermione: **Hey Ron, this is a very good piece.

_Hermione is standing up behind Ron's desk._

**Hermione:** Your own personal thoughts about Dumbledore? How nice.

**Ron:** What are you looking at that for? It's not finished!

**Hermione:** There's just a few issues. Brilliant is spelled with two l's. And you say here that Dumbledore killed Grindelwald. He actually didn't, merely –

**Ron:** I am not finished!

_Ginny laughs_

**Ginny:** See how it feels now?

**Ron:** Oh shut up!

**Luna:** We should all stop fighting. It won't get us anywhere.

_Hermione's eyes widen with fear._

**Hermione:** _*muttering to herself*_ Luna…I forgot.

_Hermione pauses tentatively and then says to Luna._

**Hermione:** Luna, what are you writing about?

**Luna:** Oh, it's a surprise. I've already written 3 articles.

**Hermione:** You don't seem to have any of the reports Lord Sugar gave to us with you.

**Luna:** Well those are just guides aren't they. Ron's writing an article without one.

**Hermione: **Yes, but Luna, remember that we're trying to write about real news here. We're aiming for a rather different market to the Quibbler.

**Luna:** No we're not. We're exactly like the Quibbler, just daily.

**Ginny:** Luna, why don't you just tell us the headline of what you're writing?

**Luna:** Of course Ginny. "Harry Potter's other supporters". It's talking about those who are with Harry, but people don't realise. You know, like us.

**Hermione:** …Fine…sounds ok…

**Nick (solitary interview):** It's important for this team that Luna is kept an eye on. So why may I ask, is it Hermione and Ginny who are ensuring this, and not the team leader, Arabella? She doesn't seem to have a grasp on her team like they do.

**Narrator:** While all the other teams seem to be talk-heavy, one subteam is seeming pretty quiet right now.

_Bellatrix and Severus are glaring at each other icily. Their whole conversation is whispered._

**Bellatrix:** I don't trust you Snape. The Dark Lord may, but I do not.

**Snape: **Now is not the time Bellatrix. We can settle your concerns later.

**Bellatrix:** But I know that you're going to weasel your way out of everything, like the slithering snake that you are. You have no allegiance to anybody. You are only an allegiance unto yourself.

**Snape:** That is unimportant right now. We have a task to do. We have to come up with a name and logo for our Dumbledore-supporting newspaper.

**Bellatrix:** You'd like that wouldn't you Snape. To glorify Dumbledore. You like to boast how you have Dumbledore on your side. Think you're so big, to have both Dumbledore and the Dark Lord with you. But the Dark Lord will defeat you Snape, as he will to anyone who is disloyal to him.

**Snape: **I will explain things to you later. Now we need to come up with a name.

_Both Bellatrix and Snape revert back to glaring at each other whilst saying nothing._

**Snape (solitary interview):** Bellatrix is foolish. She can't see past her own idiotic feelings and realise we need to get working.

**Narrator:** As we move towards the end of the day, neither team has a name yet.

**Hermione (solitary interview):** I was hoping we might be writing under a name by now, and have a journalist force two stronger. It's so frustrating to watch this task flounder as the other two have, and Arabella doesn't seem to care at all.

_Back in the room with Team Victory's main team. An owl flies in. Umbridge takes a note off its leg._

**Umbridge:** At last. Let's have a look at what we have here then. Hmm. Well it looks like Minerva has failed as usual.

**Voldemort:** Let's see that.

_Voldemort snatches the note off her._

**Voldemort:** The Daily Institution? The Daily Organisation? This is the rubbish I'd expect from a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

**Umbridge:** Speaking of the Order, I was think that maybe we should call it "The Daily Order".

**Voldemort:** How dare you. We will not associate with that traitorous group.

**Umbridge:** But then we hit the Order's supporters with our propaganda.

_Voldemort is deep in thought. Lucius laughs._

**Lucius:** Yes. Let's do it for irony's sake if nothing else. And make the logo a phoenix!

**Voldemort:** Yes Lucius! That will put Dumbledore in place.

_Lucius, Voldemort and Umbridge all laugh wildly._

**Neville:** But this isn't up to you is it?

**Voldemort:** Oh? And what are you going to do about it Longbottom?

**Neville:** Well, Dobby, what do you think?

_Dobby looks scared._

**Dobby:** Well Dobby thinks…Dobby thinks…Daily Order…Phoenix logo.

**Voldemort:** You see Longbottom. Even the elf is no longer deluded. You'd do well to learn from him.

_Neville puts his head in his hands._

**Narrator:** Evening in the journalist's office of Wisdom, and time to shut up shop, but still they have had no word on a name from Bellatrix and Severus.

_In Wisdom's office they're packing up and preparing to leave._

**Hermione:** I can't believe they haven't come up with a name yet. If they don't do it time then we don't have a paper. Arabella, I'm sorry but you should've nagged them by now!

**Ginny: **Oh brighten up Hermione. Hasn't it been great to just work a day without Umbridge and Bellatrix.

**Hermione:** Yes but I want to win!

**Luna:** I think we all want to win Hermione, but we've done all we can. There's no point arguing right now, both of you.

**Ginny (solitary interview):** I have enjoyed today so much more than any other day in the process. It's been nice to be in a team that hasn't felt divided. But Hermione has just been a downer on it, like she's been a downer on the whole process so far. She just proves that there is such a thing as wanting to win too much.

**Hermione:** You're right. We'll start arguing when we get home. What the hell have they been doing? And what sort of terrible name are we going to have to chuck out now? And a logo as well!

**Ron:** Hermione, just calm down for a moment. We'll speak to the other two when we see them. They might have a great idea.

**Hermione:** Oh shut up Ron. I don't mean to offend you, but this isn't something that you understand.

**Ron:** Fine, only trying to help.

**Nick: (solitary interview):** Hermione has completely lost her temper. It's lucky that I'm here, because if I hadn't been, I think Hermione or Ginny would have bitten the other one's head off. We have four motivated young people in this room, determined to win. Why has Arabella not instilled her maturity on the situation?

**Narrator:** The candidates all arrive back at the house. They have 30 minutes to submit their name, logo and stories for publication.

_Umbridge and McGonagall are having a heated argument. Karren watches on with frustration showing on her face._

**McGonagall:** You've submitted it all already! But Bill and I wrote stories to go in it. We didn't sit around all day just figuring out names you know?

**Umbridge:** You didn't tell us that though did you Minerva.

**McGonagall:** I rather thought you'd have the common sense to not submit before we got back.

**Umbridge:** We wanted to get it done early.

**McGonagall:** …I know your game Dolores. You wanted to eliminate me from the equation. Why can't you keep personal issues out of the matter.

**Umbridge:** I don't know what you're talking about Minerva. You are the one making it personal.

**McGonagall:** So…what name did you choose. Institution, or Organisation?

_Umbridge gives a simpering laugh._

**Umbridge:** Why would we choose either of those Minerva? We went for "The Daily Order". And the Ministry logo we scrapped as well. A phoenix was considered by consensus to be more appropriate.

**McGonagall:** You…you what?

**Narrator:** Meanwhile, upstairs.

_Wisdom are sitting in a bedroom trying to have a discussion but there's a great deal of shouting coming from downstairs._

**Hermione:** So you two have done absolutely nothing all day?

**Snape:** Bellatrix has been…ah…uncooperative. I could do nothing.

**Hermione: **You could have done something! Something rather than nothing!

**Snape:** Granger, shut up, you're not in charge of this show. Bellatrix and I managed to draw this.

_Snape shows a logo of an owl with glasses peering at a newspaper._

**Hermione: **That's so stock it's unbe – WILL THEY SHUT UP DOWNSTAIRS? Who is that?

**Luna:** Sounds like Professor McGonagall and Umbridge to me.

**Hermione:** Well go downstairs and shut them up will you Luna.

_Luna happily gets up and walks off. Ron and Ginny share a smile. We follow Luna downstairs when she opens the door to the lounge and sees the two women standing up, shouting._

**McGonagall:** You planned this! This was conspiracy! To completely remove my involvement from today!

**Umbridge:** Minerva, you are seeing this the way you want to see it! You are trying to twist something very innocent in your favour.

**McGonagall:** You? Innocent? You can spare me Dolores.

**Luna: **Excuse me.

_McGonagall and Umbridge turn bewildered towards the door._

**Umbridge:** What are you doing here girl? Spying? Go away now!

**Luna:** You're being quite rude.

**McGonagall:** Yes you are Dolores. What is it Lovegood?

**Luna:** I meant both of you. You're both being quite rude.

_McGonagall looks taken aback. Her lips thin._

**McGonagall:** How, how dare you?

**Luna:** Our team are trying to have a discussion upstairs and you two are drowning it out with shouting. Hermione is getting very agitated.

**McGonagall:** Granger would be…ok, Miss Lovegood, I'm sorry.

**Umbridge: **It's all Minerva's fault dear. She has had a bad day. I daresay this may be the last night she spends in the house.

_McGonagall glares at Umbridge. Karren looks taken aback._

**Luna:** Thank you.

_Luna walks back upstairs._

**Karren (solitary interview):** I'm amazed that the seemingly meek girl Luna has come in and humbled these two headstrong women. She obviously has the backbone for business, it's just questionable that she has the brains.

_Back upstairs with Wisdom._

**Ginny:** We have to agree on a name quickly! We only have 5 minutes.

**Arabella:** Maybe…

_The whole team turn to look at her. They've clearly forgotten she's there._

**Arabella:** How about The Owl Observer?

_Hermione scrunches her nose in apparent distaste._

**Arabella:** Well it fits with the logo, implies delivery, and it's the best I can come up with at such short notice.

**Hermione:** But –

**Ginny:** Have you got anything better Hermione?

**Hermione:** I…no. I will be bringing up in the boardroom that the two people who spent a whole day on a name came up with nothing.

**Ginny:** _*exasperated*_ You do that. Now shall we submit?

**Arabella:** Yes, let's do it.

**Hermione:** Wait!

**Ginny:** What now?

**Hermione:** Have we read through everyone's stories? Made sure they fit in with what we want?

_Silence fills the room._

**Arabella:** Well…umm… we can't worry about that now. Let's go and submit this.

_And Arabella leaves the room carrying lots of papers. Everyone is sitting silently, realising that none of the articles have been peer reviewed at all. Hermione in particular is staring hard at Luna, who seems ignorant to this and is gazing dreamily out of the window._

**Narrator:** Tomorrow, the two teams will see the final product with spaces for advertising left in. They must pitch to businesses to advertise in that space, and create as much advertising revenue as possible.


End file.
